So I’ve been in and out of many 12 step treatment centers, and other facilities in my past. I’ve read the big book, I’ve had sponsors, I’ve gone to meetings. It never worked for me. It probably never will.
I believe it to be fundamentally wrong. I don’t believe in the disease model. What AA tries to have you believe, that you are powerless, that you are broken. That most of you will die, high or drunk, miserable, and alone.. Except for the few that follow these instructions… The whole premise is absurd. These ideologies are absolutely ridiculous to tell some when they are probably at their lowest they’ve ever been in their life.
The instructions
Their bible (the big book), which their members repeat blindly, without thinking of the consequences of what they’re really saying…
The steps… While they’re meant to help, the underlying philosophy is limiting, and the steps are built off this false foundation.
It’s kind of like religion. Some of the ideals are good, and positive, and many people live their entire lives, well, listening to the teachings of their religion. It doesn’t mean they’re right though… Not right for everyone at least…
Spiritual awakenings
In the twelve steps, they say you will have a spiritual awakening after having worked all the steps. How long will that be? Will I feel it? Does it just happen? How long does each step take? If I skip step 8, no awakening happens? What about step 13?
I think that’s all ridiculous. And everyone is different.
For me, the spiritual awakening happens right after I quit using or drinking… Right when I can finally see what the hell I was doing to myself and others.. That’s when I have these experiences.. Those aha moments…
Clarity through separation
But it’s different for everyone. Some people, it takes a long time to get some clarity. And clarity, in my opinion, is vital. You need to separate yourself from the behaviors that got you to this point. And some people need to be separated from it for a long time, before they start healing.. which can take months or even years…
Once the miracle does happen, keeping it alive is the difficult part.
You need to recognize and allow your spiritual awakening to happen. Trust the process. It can be very emotional and draining experience. But when you finally see your life for what it is or what its been… And you start to see what it could be.. A glimpse of this, for me, stirs a spiritual awakening that sometimes makes me cry for days.. It’s life changing…
Fulfillment
It starts with the group. A person getting addicted to drugs, is not a result of their own failure. It is the failure of the community. There should be systems in place to prevent such behaviors from getting out of hand. There should be other activities and joys and things people look forward to, other than getting to the bar after work to start your drinking into a coma. And your family and friends should be the ones showing you such beautiful things.
Rats and cocaine
There was an experiment where they were observing rats. They had two water bottles, one was just water… and the other was water and cocaine (I think that was the substance they used). If these rats were alone in a box, with nothing else to do, but the two water bottles… The rat would choose the one with cocaine in it, until it died…
If you take the same experiment, but there was multiple rats, and they had wheels, and pools, and tunnels, and hay and other various things that they enjoy… The rats would try both bottles, but wouldn’t go back to the cocaine one after the first time. Because their lives were full..
I’m paraphrasing this experiment, and may have gotten some details wrong but the idea is sound I believe.
This is a community issue. A societal issue… It’s got to start with that.
Symptoms of societal failures
You can not solve a problem when you don’t know what the problem is. Drug addiction, alcoholism, or any addictive behaviors are a symptom of our society’s shortcomings. Not a shortcoming of the individual.
And you can’t look at it like a disease. Because if you do, you’re inviting pharmaceutical companies, or doctors, or therapists to treat the symptoms. NOT the problem. Treating symptoms brings in more money but you can’t operate under the umbrella of improving human health, if your model is profit driven, in any shape or form. It never sides with humanity. It is cold.
Immerse yourself
Now I’m not sure on the logistics of all. I don’t have it all figured out.
But the idea is this: Immerse yourself in community. Or better yet… The community should immerse themselves into you… (and therefore, everyone). And it’s important to note, I’m not talking about getting a bunch of newly clean drug addicts or alcoholics together to celebrate their 4 days of sobriety. In what world does that make sense? It needs to include any and all people, of all kinds, and ages. You shouldn’t try and learn from someone who hasn’t learned it themselves.
I’m talking about making the world our rehab. Because make no mistake… It’s not the drug addicts that need the rehab. It’s the whole fucking planet. And when people can finally take responsibility for the way our universe is operating, then and only then can we start implementing changes that we can all agree on and start healing.
This is important…
If we can not see our own part in this, how can we expect to help each other? To heal each other? To trust others to have our back? If we are blind to our own shortcomings, how can you improve? It just doesn’t make sense. When Sadhguru said be selfish, but be selfish globally… He’s really talking about common sense. What is beneficial to one, can be beneficial to all. If you can be selfish in relation to more than one’s self…. There is no reason not to expand that as far as your reach can touch. It would be self defeating to do otherwise.
So immerse yourself with others. Be social.. Be human. Be with others.. Get comfortable with all others… all types.. all creeds…
This is the key. Be open to learning… To feeling… To experiencing… Because when it comes down to it, that’s all we got. In this plane of existence, we are a collective of our experiences. Some of us are able to access other states of consciousness if we so wish, and that’s a gift. But not everyone is ready to witness the wisdom before them. I know I wasn’t for 44 years.
I am aware now. But I am no expert in the ways of this universe.. This reality we share.. But I am cognoscente of the possibilities in front of us.. As much as I can be… and I’m learning more every day.
If we become unteachable, we start dying.. Because we are no longer necessary. It’s just like the astronauts in space. If they didn’t work out (physical activity), their legs, their bone density and mass, all deteriorate into most likely nothing, after some time. Because they just aren’t needed in zero gravity. It’s human evolution at its finest. And it’s much faster than you think…
Immerse yourselves with every facet of your community. Learn about the people that surround you. Even if they keep to themselves.. It’s all preconceived notions of each other, keeping us apart anyways. So fuck those notions. Have faith of what a reboot in that way of thinking can do for you and just jump in the deep end… I promise it’s not cold for long. You will adapt and start producing positive behavior patterns not only individually, but evolutionary as well. We need to start thinking from a higher perspective (no pun intended).
If everyone just communicated as normal healthy functioning people, we would not need a twelve step group.
And never underestimate your importance in whatever group you identify with. I think a lot of trouble arises under the false perception of our value in society. Especially as drug addicts and alcoholics.
We are written off as a waste byproduct of shitty parenting. But that is so far from the truth. I am a shiny example of the opposite. My parents didn’t do anything wrong. At least, not in society’s way of measuring. But what happened to me? I’m lucky to be alive. Not in spite of my parents or family.. But because of them. I owe them so much more than my existence. Now how do you explain that? It doesn’t make sense but it happened. And I’m finding out a lot of what I took for granted wasn’t really true.. And definitely shouldn’t have been assumed. But who the heck is going to tell that to a kid and expect an appropriate response.. Definitely not a parent.
We all matter
Your community should be your extended family. Invite that person over for some food and drink. Have a cookout with your neighbors. Every day. This should be normal! This shouldn’t be weird. But if someone did this now it would be considered crazy or creepy or worse. My daughters shouldn’t be afraid of going to the neighbors house if they need something. In fact, besides their own family, that should be the first place they should look. Not google. Not some peer that possibly knows less than they do. It is community that saves us. It is each other.
We are stronger together. If one of us is falling off their path, the community will let you know what they see, offer their help in any way they can, because we win as a whole, not as an individual.
Never again…
The goal shouldn’t be to make anyone quit anything for the rest of their lives. There’s no need. Unless that’s the best path for them. The idea is that they won’t need to use whatever it was, the way they did, anymore. The community should replace that organically.
It’s the pattern of use that is the problem. Its become a pattern because they replaced something they should’ve been getting from community or society as a whole but are not. They replace it with something external.
When someone has these crucial elements you get from being apart of a community, this sense of unity, togetherness, love… they can use various substances or have various behaviors for a multitude of reasons. But it doesn’t become their will to live. Because their life is full in other ways.
Never mistake pleasure for happiness
When you bring them into your community and they become apart of. It becomes self healing. If someone is to start a negative pattern the community will react. And those should be outliers since if a community is functioning well, there shouldn’t be much missing that someone would feel needs filling with something else.
Find your church
It can be anything. It’s a place or state that you go to be one with yourself, or with others. It’s something you cherish, something positive, something important.
Something beautiful. Something you’re passionate about. Your love. Your guide. Your driving force.
I have several… Skateboarding.. My family.. My daughters.. Nature.. People.. Music.. Yoga..
They all can take me to a place of bliss. Of utter happiness and contentment. Of freedom.
Isn’t that what we all strive for?
You find freedom, and there is no more problem. When we find that… as a group. It would be a rebirth. A downpayment on the stability of our species. For a bit anyhow… Until we find the next new dilemma. Because it’s always surrounding us. It’s our life cycle. Recognizing our life cycle as something beautiful instead of something to fear is a transformation I wish for everyone.
Our differences are the disease.. Not drugs..
